We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
