Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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