Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do vagina's smell?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
