saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize