Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
