R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
