if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
