Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
