somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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