This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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