I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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