My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize