Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
