I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
