what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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