i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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