Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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