Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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