started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
