I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
