i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
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