my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
