May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
