My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
