my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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