I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
