he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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