I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
