it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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