I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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