The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
you made out with another girl for some wings
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
