Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
