Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
