Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
