Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize