he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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