I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm too high and old for this...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
