My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
