I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
