Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
