JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
