PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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