Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
