if only i could text you this smell
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
