My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
