were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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