Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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