drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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