I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
