He uses pillows to masturbate.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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