oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
