I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
