When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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