He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize