No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
