just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize