He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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