so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
