we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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