So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
