so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
