Your mouth is God's brothel.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize