Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
